Last Tuesday, Feb. 18th was Art’s birthday.
He would have been 55 and … I would have made fun of him. 😂
Last Tuesday wasn’t a sad day, which isn’t completely surprising because what I have learned about grief (and cancer) is that it is only 25% of what most people, including myself, think it would be. The other 75% is shrouded with mystery.
Last Tuesdays was filled with joy and gratitude.
When Art was first diagnosed in 2006 and again at the end of 2008, people showed up in 100s of magical ways! His cancer built an accidental community connecting us all.
When I look back, I’m so grateful that HE got to experience the love, hope and humor our friends, his co-workers and our families enveloped us in.
If, by chance, you were one of those people who showed up in a small or big way…
THERE ISN'T A FONT BOLD OR BIG ENOUGH TO EXPRESS MY GRATITUDE!
YOU made our lives better when life wasn't going as planned and I know he loved you for it.
I sometimes tell myself that seeing all the support around us, made it easier for him to go.
Today, at Kobe Bryant’s Memorial service, Jimmy Kimmel said in his opening remarks, “I’ve been trying to come up with something positive to take away from this. It was hard because there isn’t much. But the best thing I can come up with is this …. gratitude.
It seems to me all we can do is be grateful for the time we had with them and for the time we have left with each other.”
And that is where I stand today, one week later, in gratitude. Gratitude for the time we had with him, gratitude for those who showed him how much he was loved and gratitude for you.
If you have a friend with cancer or who is dealing with loss know this:
Doing something matters.
Perfection is not what's required.
A card, an oil change, or a cooler by the front door are small things that have a big impact.
It mattered to this family and it matters to your friend with cancer. ⠀
Show up because you matter.
Happy Birthday Art, you were loved! I’m glad you got to see it. ⠀