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Kim Hamer

Nine Ways to Say "You Matter" Without Saying A Word


HAPPINESS IS A JOURNEY, NOT A DESTINATION

Angela sent me this and it made me happy!

There is something really special about getting a card in the mail. My friend Angela sent me one just last week. Here’s a photo of the outside.

On the inside, she began with… “My dearest Kim..”

Who doesn’t want to get a card that starts with “My dearest”!

I kept every single condolence card we received after Art died. Each one represented a drop of hope and love. Each one reminded me that I was not alone in this loss. A few of them made me laugh out loud!

Cards are special. A card is a physical reminder that you matter to someone.

And it’s one of the easiest ways to express your love to your friend with cancer without ever saying a word. (This is great for those of you who want to express you care but feel completely stuck on how to do that!)

Below are eight cards you can send to your friend with cancer, the ninth is the first photo!

Now before you look at the list, be forewarned, these cards are NOT Hallmark cards full of gooey sentiment. If that's your jam, you may not like these cards. Some of them have swear words.

These cards are by Emily McDowell and Friends. Her cards are designed for the real relationships we have. Their mission? To help people connect when they’re not sure what to say.

It’s the same as mine!!

If you’re looking for a card that says, “I see you. I know this is not fun for you and I'm hoping this card will make you laugh or really, really show you how much I care!" then look no farther than Emily McDowell and Friends. Click on the card to go straight to her website!

PLEASE LET ME BE THE FIRST TO PUNCH SOMEONE

After you learned what not to say, you will want to defend her from others who still don't know. In this case, it's the thought that counts. Action not recommended.

I’ve said this lot of times before Art got cancer. These words, although meant to encourage, are actually dismissive in nature. It dismisses the pain and suffering the person with cancer is going through. It dismisses their feelings cause if it has a reason, what’s the big deal!”

IF THIS IS GOD'S PLAN, ...

This is my favorite card.

WELCOME TO THE SHIT SHOW

No, THIS is my favorite card!

WHEN THE GOING GETS TOUGH,...

A gentle reminder on how to be human.

And sometimes a wise-ass card just doesn't fit. Here are some heartfelt and honest options.

WELL, THIS JUST SUCKS.

Often time stating the obvious in sixty-one words is the best way to connect to say "I see you and I'm here."

WHAT I WANT YOU TO KNOW...

This one makes me cry, every... single... time!

NO CARE CAN MAKE THIS BETTER

State the obvious. It's always the best way to connect.

YOU ARE DOING A FUCKING GREAT JOB.

Don't wait till your friend has cancer to give them this card ! I’m giving this one to one of my team members tomorrow. (Really!) EVERYONE needs to know they are doing an awesome job because most everyone thinks they aren't!!

All of these cards are blank inside. But don’t panic. With what is written on the outside, you can simply write any of the following on the inside:

  • I’m rooting for you, not the cancer!

  • This card says it better than I could ever say it!

  • I have boxing gloves at my desk/in my car. Just say the word (This one for the punch someone card only.)

Or you could go with simplicity and just say.

I love you.

You didn’t have to say a darn thing to love your friend with cancer!


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